


die knowing (your life was my life's best part)

by matelotage



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Sad Magnus, everyone is sad, im going to kick my own ass for writing this wtf @ me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matelotage/pseuds/matelotage
Summary: Magnus can only speculate, but he’s certain Alec is waiting for them all to tell him it’s okay.





	die knowing (your life was my life's best part)

Isabelle is the first. 

 

“Hey, big brother.” Izzy calls gently, doing her best to smile despite the situation. She knows the warlock standing in the doorway won’t judge her if she cries, but she’s not certain she’d be able to stop crying if she was to let herself start now. 

Alec is motionless on the bed, but she’s not surprised. There hasn’t been a change in his condition for the past ten days, and there won’t be one now. The rise and fall of his chest stutters every few seconds, and she can’t help but hold her breath. 

She pulls up a seat next to the bed, taking his hand carefully in hers.  
“You can come back to us anytime, Alec. We’ll be here for you. We always will.” The words seem to get stuck in her throat every time she tries to speak, but she keeps on. It kills her to say this, but she knows he needs to hear it. “But if you can’t then...I love you no matter what, okay?”

Her fingers tingle a little where she has them wrapped around her older brother’s, and she wonders if somehow in someway, that means he’s really heard her.

 

When Magnus realizes he’s exhausted absolutely every option there is to save Alec, he shuts himself away in their shared bedroom for hours and weeps. 

Izzy appears outside the door after an undetermined amount of time with an offering of water, and that’s when he notices he’s not the only one with mascara running all over the place. He’d find it funny under much different circumstances. 

When she’s gone he ventures back inside, carding a hand through the archer’s hair as he moves to sit beside him. “Alexander, I never imagined we’d be saying our farewells so soon. I cherish every second you’ve spent here with me. You must know I love you, so much.” 

He fixes the shadowhunter with a fond stare, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

The ring sits heavy in his free hand. 

“We deserve more time.”

 

 

“He’s waiting on you.” 

Jace doesn’t bother to look up when he hears Magnus’s voice, closing his eyes against the feeling of dread that seems to seep into his bones. “I know.” 

 

 

Their bond’s been flickering like a candle for days. 

The blond enters the loft like there’s lead in his boots, eyes cast to the ground as he pushes the door open to reveal Isabelle and Magnus already huddled around Alec. 

Izzy’s on the bed alongside her brother, hand resting on his arm. Magnus has the shadowhunter’s head pillowed on his lap, thumbs running soothing patterns along his hairline.

Jace walks to them slowly, the room completely silent aside from the dying nephilim’s labored breaths. “Hey, buddy.” He says softly, cursing the way his voice wavers. 

By the angel, the things he wants to tell Alec. Beg him for the hundredth time not to leave him, plead for the angels to do _something,_ or tell the man again and again how much he means to him. He grips his parabatai’s hand with his own, mouth feeling incredibly dry as he struggles to form the words. “It’s okay, Alec. It’s okay.” 

It feels like he’s a stone being skipped across the water, the momentum sending ripples surging out before him. But the ripples start to fade out after a time, becoming smaller and smaller. 

And then the stone falls and starts to slink down through the water, gradual and quiet until there’s nothing there at all. 

 

 

And Jace knows his parabatai has finally let go.


End file.
